Emergency appeal · Ref. DWY/2026/001
Developers Without Yachts is a one-man humanitarian response to a crisis affecting one (1) developer. That developer is me. There is no board, no overhead and no plan beyond the boat.
Appeal progress
Updated manually · Last revised this morning · Tearfully
The crisis in figures
Field report
Each morning at 06:41 the beneficiary wakes on land. He makes coffee in a kitchen with no view of open water. By 09:00 he is in a standup. By 09:04 he is describing, out loud, to five other adults, what he did yesterday.
There is no deckhand. There has never been a deckhand.
He owns one life jacket, purchased in 2019 in a spirit of optimism. It has never been wet. It hangs on the back of a door, near a coat, and the two of them have nothing to say to each other.
Conditions are stable. That is the tragedy. Nobody is dying. He has a standing desk and a dental plan and a chair that cost more than it should have, and not one of those things floats.
He has begun using the word starboard in contexts that do not require it. Colleagues have noticed. Nobody has intervened.
Allocation of funds
0% administrative overhead. There is no administration. There is no organisation. There is a man, a website, and a fixed idea about a boat.
Ways to give
You are acknowledged silently, at sea, by nobody. It still counts.
Funds approximately 1.2 m of rope. Rope is not optional. Ask any boat.
A title with no duties, which is objectively the best kind of title.
A part of the yacht will be named after you. Probably a small part. Possibly the bilge.
Voices from the affected household
“He talks about the boat. He has always talked about the boat.”A colleague, who asked not to be named,
“I have heard the word starboard more times in this flat than any flat should hear it.”Flatmate · unaffiliated · unwell
“Get a normal hobby.”The beneficiary’s mother · not a supporter of this appeal
Make a donation
Goes toward the yacht. All of it. Every satoshi.
Also the yacht. There is only the one plan.
Fast, cheap, and pointed at the same boat.
No receipt will be issued. No goods or services will be provided. A feeling may occur.
Frequently raised objections
No. It is a man and a website. Every part of this page is a joke except the wallet addresses, which are real, and the desire for a boat, which is worse than real.
Aggressively not. Do not put this on a form.
Then I buy a smaller boat and continue referring to it as a yacht. The word does a lot of work and asks very little in return.
Yes. Unprompted, at length, and with photographs of water.
Yes. Please. Genuinely, start there — it skips the middle of this entire website.
The appeal continues. Yachts have running costs, and running costs are forever. This is not a campaign, it is an institution.